The Unsure Girl

Mitchell Duran

This
hasn’t happened yet.

That doesn’t mean that this this
may happen, because it may or may not. What may occur could be a number of
things and the events that have yet to occur all concern the Unsure Girl. Some
say that it’s not about the Unsure Girl, it’s about him or some say that it’s
never been about him, it’s always been about her. Some say it’s actually never
been about either of them; it’s just about love in life.

The Unsure Girl goes back to school
to really focus on that MFA and leaves him or she goes back to school and
doesn’t leave him or she goes back to school staying with him but moving out or
she stays with him but gets rid of their cat. College is a lily pad of farces
anyway. A few say the Unsure Girl left him because he didn’t ask her to marry
him fast enough or she left him because he didn’t have any passion or she’s not
one hundred percent sure if they’ll ever be on the same page, a very natural
reaction to have in your late twenties. We’re the only generation that believes
we should start at the top and stay there. The Unsure Girl can’t help but ask
herself every morning and every night the same question: is he the one? Or she
wants the security of a household, or the label of a wife, or a conflict free
diamond ring. Or she just doesn’t love him anymore. The Unsure Girl is not
sure.

A handful say the Unsure Girl
starts biking to school to get a tighter core and is hit by a car. By then, she
has re-discovered that she is in fact gay, something she assumed in her youth was
a phase. Or, she’s bi. After the surgeries of her pelvis, her femur, her
tailbone, her ankles, her big toe, her cuboid, her phalanges, she goes viral,
becoming a spokesperson for The United Cyclists fighting for the rights of all
cyclists, no matter gender, religion, or sexual orientation. A handful say why
should she be in United Cyclists if she can’t even ride a bike anymore? Though
– and this may be true or it may not be – a handful say she never rode again
and found herself only able to think of him as she laid on the bubbling hot
pavement after being struck by the car, her last wish being, if it were in fact
that, to tell him she doesn’t know how to say sorry for taking three years of
his life, leaving him with nothing but himself again. But even then, the Unsure
Girl was unsure whether she would even be able to do that. The only thing the
Unsure Girl was certain about as the paramedics guided her into the ambulance,
was that eventually, she would have to be ok with not being sure about
anything.


Mitchell Duran is a freelance writer living in San Francisco. His work
has been seen in the Turks Head Review, Penumbra Magazine, Riverlit.
He’s currently attending a short story workshop at The Writers Grotto.

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